Protests Break Out at OSU
"The Ohio Union was packed with individuals! Of course, they were alumni visiting for homecoming, but never the less, the stage was set for revolution."
October is the month of revolution, a month of rising up and seizing what the people demand. As it stood true one hundred years ago, it stays true at Ohio State today.
The Ohio State University has existed under the draconian rule of a corporation who is not (for legal reasons) to be named for far too long. The people demand change, freedom from their heavily branded bottles, and their choose-your-own-flavor future machines.
The people demand a new official drink sponsor for The Ohio State University: La Croix. Bubbly, calorie free, and most importantly, delicious. No one (except for the many people who swear they hate it) can deny the appeal of the canned beverage.
I took it into my own hands to create the change people needed. With swift and deliberate key strokes I brought into existence a protest unparalleled in righteousness across US history.
Scheduled for Sunday October 8th the revolution could not fail. Below is my first hand account of the events of that Sunday:
As any student knows, waking up before noon on a Sunday is something paramount to criminal, so naturally I woke up at 12:30. But I awoke with a rush of excitement. It was timent; the air was ripe with campus wide animosity. Or perhaps it was just the excitement left over from homecoming, it was hard to say.
Realizing I was not prepared at all for a protest I was the proprietor of I took the logical action, left to learn to play oboe as my friend did the hard work. (The oboe is unrelated, however Arouse being a music focus publication I thought it relevant). When I finally returned to my dorm I was eager to join my comrades in storming the winter pala- I mean... Ohio Union.
When I arrived the Ohio Union was packed with individuals! Of course, they were alumni visiting for homecoming, but never the less the stage was set for revolution. The turn-out was significantly higher than has been expected! 100% more people in fact - meaning there were two of us.
Unfortunately my oboe antics had taken about fifteen minutes longer than intended and the other protester was on her out as I came onto the scene: I raise my pamplemousse can to you noble defender of all things good.
Of course, I was not discouraged by the low turn out; No, the people would have La Croix! I marched through the union and continued the revolution.
In the end it was a smashing success and an entire one (1) signature was collected to begin the push back against the current drink sponsor. I hope to see you all next time as we fight for the rights of the people.