GEESE – Getting Killed: Peter Thiel
If there’s one feeling that the most instantly canonized indie release of the year captures, it’s the paranoia of over-consumption. Geese capture what it’s like to be seeing too much goddamn terrible shit happening all the time. Peter Thiel is the ultimate consumer of our time. He will consume every conversation we ever have. Thiel, much like Geese, almost comes off like a harbinger of doom—a horseman in a big green coat. See also: both Thiels and Geese’s religious obsessions. If one indie singer would spend their lives looking for the antichrist, it would be the one chanting “GOD IS REAL/GOD IS REAL/I’M NOT KIDDING THIS TIME” (wrong album, I know).
VIAGRA BOYS – VIAGR ABOYS: Elon Musk
You wake up at noon, hate scroll twitter, look at deranged (probably sexual) content, write homoerotic letters to the president, try to contact your children, scroll twitter more, fail to contact your children, scroll twitter(X). Is this the routine of Elon Musk or any of the narrators in Viagra Boys superbly titled fourt halbum? While a few years ago you could watch both Musk and Viagra Boys narrators get radicalized to the alt right in real time, nowadays they’re both bathing in full depravity. Imagine Elon bumping it while he gets on a rocket to Mars that will explode, killing everyone on it. Bliss.
WEDNESDAY – Bleeds: The Waltons
Bet you didn’t see this coming. While Wednesday garners acclaim, the second wealthiest family in the world manages to largely stay out of the news. They’re charming, darling, little southerners who abuse their workers. In 2025, Walmart was boycotted for being one of many companies to bow to Trump and redo its DEI policies. Any picture of Wednesday can show they didn’t consider DEI when choosing band members. All in all America’s richest family are a perfect fit for the southern country-grunge sound of Gen Z’s flagship alt country stars!
BLACK COUNTRY, NEW ROAD – Forever Howlong: Donald Trump
Everybody loves a good comeback. BC,NR and Trump are both groundbreakers having a comeback year. Black Country, New Road lost Isaac Wood; Trump lost the 2020 election—but they’ve both seemed to have recovered pretty well! Forever Howlong’s lead single was all about friendship, and Trump’s best friend (Epstein) makes constant worldwide news! One of the best songs on Forever Howlong, is about the killing of horses; one of Trump’s classic cabinet picks wrote about her killing of a dog! The one and only difference is that Trump wants a white country.
Tame Impala – Deadbeat: Mark Zuckerberg
A pair of trailblazers in their fields (danceable neo-psych, social media platforms that actively destroy democracy) both have been outpaced by newer acts and are trying to switch up their acts (getting really into house for good ol’ Kevin Parker, wearing gold chains and doing Benson-Boone-backflips and shit for Mark Zuck). Neither are succeeding at looking cool.
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