Part 2 of Perspectives on Geordie Greep’s Columbus Performance.
Part 1 Link – Geordie Greep Brings His New Sound To Columbus, 9/18/25 @ The Bluestone
Listen: it takes an extremely loving partner to agree to go to a random concert with the person they’re dating. I might as well get the Best Girlfriend Ever Award, because when my music-major boyfriend asked me to go to a show with him, I knew it was gonna be some nonsense. And I truly am sorry. If you’re one of those hardcore Geordie Greep fans, please stop reading, because all I’m gonna do is make you mad and I’d rather not ragebait a bunch of white men today. My Instagram DM requests can’t take that.
I get it, though. I fit the direct stereotype you’d expect me to fit. The Boygenius/Clairo/Laufey-loving girlfriend getting dragged to a Geordie Greep concert by her boyfriend, listening to his music for three hours straight (THREE HOURS! btw) despite the fact that she really doesn’t get it. I won’t pretend that I can recite Kurt Cobain’s whole Wikipedia article by memory. I shouldn’t even be writing for AROUSE: my level of music comprehension is like that of a thirteen year-old newly-realized queer kid who just discovered Tumblr. I’m not going to pretend it’s any deeper than that. But boy, Geordie Greep, I have a proposition for you.
Greep’s concert took place at the Bluestone, a former church with beautiful stained glass windows and a disco ball hung up from the ceiling. The venue has a deeply impressive lighting design that makes you wonder if you’re inside an old church or an incredibly overstimulating dream. There, I saw the longest vape pulls I have ever witnessed, an improvised song about Ohio, and random meowing that happened for like two whole minutes.
Among the sea of overgrown buzzcuts and baseball caps, of sweaty bodies and a white dude throwing crazy, crazy ass right next to me, there was one glimmer in the crowd. Two people who brought joy into my soul, a flutter against my beating heart: two lesbians swing-dancing to the middle of the 20-minute (30-minute? 40-minute?) “Bongo Season” song.
Before the concert, my boyfriend told me that “Geordie Greep makes music for men who think they are weird and are weird.” This might shake a few boats, but I thoroughly believe that this supposed ‘quirkiest man’ does not even hold a candle to the least quirky non-male identifying person.
It only makes sense for Greep to cater to an audience of queer women (or queer people who aren’t men!). That man was made for Broadway. I wish they turned his mic up even a tiny bit, because a moment of his voice getting drowned out by the two talented but very loud percussionists on stage is a piece of heaven lost to my ears. Armed with the voice of an angel and the dramatics to be able to perform for hours at a time, he was born to be cast as the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera. And trust that queer people have the strength and devotion to navigate Ticketmaster queues. In the same way that Bo Burnham healed and broke sapphic hearts in 2021, Geordie Greep is for the girls.
Geordie, if you are listening to me: you will probably have lifetimes of good karma if your audience consisted of queer people. Transfer Faye Webster fans over to you, and you probably won’t have to deal with the heckling and the crazy moshing. Just good vibes and a wolfcut-majority audience. And think of the merch you’d be able to sell: carabiners, tote bags, crochet kits of little Geordie Greeps.
So please, Geordie, realize this potential that you have. Do everything you’re already doing, but for the gays. You already pop up on stage with a tracksuit, man, just embrace it.
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