It was a cold and rainy Wednesday. The AROUSE Magazine Banquet was the next thing on my agenda for the day, just after I had band practice with Columbus’ newest up-and-coming band, “The Earthworms.” Roughly a month prior, none of these events had even been conceived, and the only event on my mind was Nettspend’s Early Life Crisis Show at Newport Music Hall.
A friend of mine had sent me the Instagram post for the concert once it was announced, and I thought it would be fun to say I went to a Nettspend show. The wording of this sentence is important. It would be fun to say I went to a Nettspend show, but I did not believe the show itself would be fun. To understand this, one first needs to understand Gunner Shepardson, the rapper from Virginia known as Nettspend, and his position within the rap underground.
Going viral in 2023 with a reel of him flexing to his song “drankdrankdrank,” Nettspend generated a lot of controversy. Some found him to be a culture vulture; others found his sound to be generic and overdone; and a select few thought the internet was being too harsh. It was this controversy that allowed Nettspend to become one of the more notable figures of the underground. He would become a meme for his style of music, for his appearance and position as a white, lean-drinking teen in the rap game, and for his youthful and innocent look that contrasts with his aesthetic and lyrics. This brings us to my reasoning for going to his show: to check it out as an ironic attendance with my friend sounded like a good time.
Being an underground rap music fan is much like being a fan of trash reality TV. It’s entertaining, and the drama is fun—despite most of its irrelevance in the bigger picture; and occasionally, you’re gifted with some sonic gems. For Nettspend, some of his early music is good in a brainless, flex-music way. However, this is Early Life Crisis, an album Anthony Fantano reviewed as being “NOT GOOD,” which I found to be quite true as I listened to it for the first time. However, my ticket was graciously gifted by PromoWestLive, so why would I pass up on the opportunity? Well, one reason is that my friend had not yet secured a ticket. This was unbeknownst to me until I saw him at the AROUSE Magazine Banquet, where he mentioned that he was unable to buy his ticket. He had found a resale ticket earlier, checked again later, and found it was gone. Why would all the reasonably-priced Nettspend tickets be taken? We should have known better, given the fact that his cult-like fanbase had been standing outside the venue since 4pm—though doors didn’t open until 7. This might be appropriate for a larger music star; one who is cemented in the culture, such as Kendrick Lamar, Charli XCX, or Taylor Swift. This is inappropriate for a Nettspend Concert. I left the AROUSE event for the show venue at around 8pm, thinking the show started then.
Boy, was I dead wrong.
As I walked up to the Newport, I was greeted by the sound of a man peeing in the corner, the sight of multiple teenage ragers, and the smell of marijuana & tobacco overwhelming my sinuses. I walked through the doors with my umbrella in hand as the security guard asked me to empty my pockets. As I did so, he told me to throw my umbrella in a pile of umbrellas by the door; I could not bring it in. At this moment, I said goodbye to my Umbrella Dearest. Accepting the umbrella’s fate, I walked into the venue, where the floor was packed and the music was bumping. Except, it was grunge music. This surprised me, but I understood to an extent, as Nettspend often draws parallels between himself and Kurt Cobain, so it is no surprise he is familiar with the Seattle-born sound.
Something to know about me is that going to concerts alone is not my favorite thing. I like being in the company of my friends at concerts, or else I feel as though I am somewhat of a fly on a wall. This was exacerbated by the fact that I was at a Nettspend concert, so my response was to embrace the fly-on-the-wall-ness of it all. Looking around, I spotted a grown man with a beer in his hand and a Nettspend shirt around his neck. At first, I was weirded out, as he is far out of the target demographic, but then the rager he gave birth to walked over to him, and it was at that point I came to the realization that all the older men in attendance were good dads supporting their children. This reminded me of when my dad took me to a Brockhampton, 100 Gecs, and Slowthai concert. Good times.
At this point, it is 9:00 pm, and I’m getting tired of Gunner Shepardson’s shit. I am embarrassed to say that I follow him on his second account, where at 7:58 pm, he posted himself smoking a joint. I contemplated leaving. However, my friend let me know that Newport shows usually start around 9:15 or 9:30, so I was going to wait it out. Shortly after this contemplation, the crowd of teenagers started chanting “Nett! Nett! Nett!” This was a good sign. About 10 minutes later, at 9:13 pm, the show started.
Within 30 seconds, everyone in the building pulled their phone out. The beat for Early Life Crisis’ opening track “you ready?” began playing, and I was ready all right. When he came out, a poor soul’s White Nike Men’s Air Force One ’07 High sneaker was sent into orbit-–this is important for later.
As songs continued to be pushed out of the speakers, I almost started dissociating. They blended together—a criticism that rage music often gets—and in the crowd that night, I completely understood it. However, my trance was broken once the song “crack” began playing. Recall: I had not listened to Early Life Crisis save for once in mid-March. It was now mid-April. I forgot the absurdity of this song’s chorus, where Nettspend shouts, “I wanna crack! I wanna crack! I wanna crack!” This song was a blessing, as it grounded me and snapped me back to reality. “He really made that the chorus, huh?” I thought to myself as I listened. Shortly after, however, I was delightfully surprised by some hardstyle music that he incorporated into his live set. It was at this point that I started paying attention to the pit.
There was no way in hell that I was going into the pit at the Nettspend concert alone. This seemed a safety hazard. It is important to understand that the pit at a rap show is nothing like the pit at a hardcore show. There is no etiquette, there is no crowd killing, and there is no safety. At the hardcore shows I have been to, the vast majority of moshers are always very aware of each other’s feelings and space. The Nettspend pit was not and was akin to a middle school dance mosh pit on meth. There were multiple people wearing slides, many shirtless men, and a hefty amount of sweat. At one point, Nettspend had to stop the show to tell the crowd to let someone get up. As this was happening, a teen carrying a flag with Nettspend’s face on it was jockeying with another and stood two feet over the crowd. There is no way Nettspend missed this, but he didn’t acknowledge it. Later, the pit and crowd moved up when a fan threw their phone on stage, and Nettspend proceeded to record on it. This prompted about another 15 phones to be thrown on stage. At an even later point, a man rushed the stage, was grabbed at the hip by security, and was dragged away as he reached out, yearning for Nettspend’s embrace. Perhaps this fan was inspired by a video of a previous show where Nettspend hugged what looked like a little boy who came on stage. That show was later shut down as many other people then tried to do the same.
This was not the case for this show, however. The crowd had behaved for the most part, and the night was now ending. Nettspend played “nothing like uuu” as one of his last songs and then went off stage. The crowd begged for an encore, and he performed another song, whose title escapes me now. He left the stage again, and security came on, kicking previously-thrown phones off the stage and into the barricade. The passive-aggressiveness of this action is incongruous with Nettspend’s demeanor, though, as he overwhelmingly seems to be a nice kid who tries to be a “badass fucking kid” as a way to promote himself. I heard the murmurs of people saying they were going to the back door to see him again, some children asking parents for permission to do so, and others just going.
As I was getting ready to leave, the second of the aforementioned White Nike Men’s Air Force One ’07 High shoes was launched at me by accident. It came within a foot of my face, and then I knew it was time to go. I headed for the exit, checking the umbrella table in a last ditch effort for my beloved. Against all odds, it was there.
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